Will I ever be loved?

Probably one of the most vulnerable posts I have ever made. .

One of the things you may or may not know about me is that relationships are somewhat new to me. Until about the age of 23, I never thought I was deserving of a relationship. I had terrible self esteem, self image and just didn’t think I would ever be LOVED.

I think it was around age 23, I finally felt “enough” To begin dating and yet was still very timid and didn’t do a whole lot of it. After my incarceration, I spent 5 years being relentless about rebuilding my life and doing whatever it took to not violate my probation and return to jail. So, dating and romance were not a high priority at this point at all. I still struggled with the shame quite a bit of my past and uncertain of how others would view it. Scary stuff.

For years to follow, I made poor decision after poor decision when it came to that part of my life always learning something from each experience. I kept hearing the same message from God “keep working on you and I’m preparing someone special for you.

This is one area I have done a lot of work on. I’ve sought out coaches, books, seminars, mentors, therapists as well as my own self reflection to determine things such as my emotional needs, communication styles, chivalry (it’s not dead folks) as well as the type of person I would want to be with.

It’s been quite a journey to say the least. Through all of this, I have discovered some of my top needs and I hope you take some time to find yours. Some of mine include affection, touch, quality time, appreciation and honesty to name a few. I never realized the importance of this until I read a few books that came highly recommended by a good friend.

I share this with you because it has taken me 31 years to finally feel like I have some knowledge and clarity on this stuff As well as found someone, so if you are struggling to find love, continue to work on yourself, dig deep in what YOU really want and don’t settle for less than you deserve.

When I say that you should surround yourself with those who challenge, love and support you UNCONDITIONALLY, it goes for a partner too. I may not be an expert, but it makes sense right?

If you and your partner are continuing to challenge each other to become better versions of each other, providing love and support consistently (learn the love language) and being respectful the relationship will flourish. I think when there isn’t a foundation, needs go unmet and the relationship is stagnant is where problems can arise.

Hope this inspires you to continue to work on yourself, stay optimistic about your future and continue to do the things necessary to find a “soul mate.”